I remember reading this some time back it was so funny i laughed for hours i just had to put it here for reading again...this one is for all the freaks out there...
After God had liberated his people from the land of Egypt, where they were kept on a vegitarian diet, and not allowed sufficient protein intake, he led them into the desert. The sons of God at first were overjoyed, quickly setting up squat racks, and incline press benches. However, after a while, the people grumbled, that their diet of snake, scorpion, and cactus flesh, just wasn't getting it done for maximum anabolism. Eventually, their complaints reached God, who sent them tasty protein wafers, which fell to the ground with the morning dew. Gods only commandment was to only take what they could eat that day, for if they hoarded them (as bodybuilders are apt to do) the protein would degrade, and the wafers would not be useful. At first, the people did not obey, and quickly found, by the next day, the protein wafers tasted worse than Wieders Dynamic Mucle Gainer in water. Therefore, they learned, and again, the Sons of God grew strong, and buff, and again, their women grew tight and toned, and the robes worn..became shorter and shorter, as more wished to display their bodies.
Bootleg gear manufacturers quickly sprang up, as many still remembered the art of brewing the sacred juice. Test cycles became frequent, and dbol tabs became as common as grains of wheat. God looking down saw, that unfoirtunatly, many began abusing his gifts, and using them without research, or common sense. Teen boys began stopping growing at 14, and developing lovely sets of B-cups. Women began getting deep voices, and facial hair..and God was not pleased.
Therefore, God called on Moses, one of the most jacked, heaviest juicing of the Sons of Man. During Moses's morning cardio, of mountain sprints, God appeared to him, and Moses fell to the ground, hiding his eyes at the site of God, with delts like bowling balls, a lat spread bigger than the Roman couleseum, and a V shape that put the pyrimids to shame. Handing Moses two huge stone tablets, God commanded Moses to bring them back to his people. "Is this for aditional resistance Lord? "Moses asked? In a moment of fina rage, God considered obliviating Moses with a bolt of lightning, but then remembered, Moses may have been the biggest of them down there, but he wasn't always the brightest. "No, you are to read them to My people" God commanded.
So Moses lumbered down the mountain, getting a great quad workout lugging those heavy tablets. When he reached the bottom, he called all the people together, and announced "These are Gods commandments, which ALL thru the generations must obey, or face the wrath of God"
I. Thou shalt not juice until you are finished growing
II. Tho shalt use test as the base of any cycle.
III. Thou shalt not use an orals only cycle.
IV. Thou shalt protect thy liver, for I only give you one
V. Thou shalt not brag to others about your juice use
VI Thou shalt keep your source private, and secure, that he may go on serving you
VII. Thou shalt always use sterile injection tecniques
VIII. Thou shalt not be cheap with post cycle anciliaries
IX. The gifts I give you, are not meant to make up for poor diet or lazy workouts
X. Thou shalt NEVER start a cycle without all gear, and all anciliaries in your posession.
The Sons of Man took these commandments to heart, and once again, grew strong, with a minimum of side effects, therefore, they praised God in His wisdom
To bear the storms that life may share;
To walk where only lions dare.
